Does Your Child Need a Therapist? Recognizing 'Behavioral Problems' vs. Growing Pains

Written by: Mindspace Team

Every parent has moments of worry: Is this normal? Should I be concerned? Is something wrong with my child?

Tantrums at age 3. Defiance at 7. Moodiness at 12. Withdrawal at 15. All children go through difficult phases—but how do you know when it's just a phase versus something that needs professional attention?

At Mindspace, we help parents navigate this question every day. This guide will help you understand the difference between normal developmental challenges and signs that your child might benefit from seeing a child psychologist or therapist.

The Parent's Dilemma: When to Worry?

Why This Is Hard

Challenge	Reality
Every child is different	No single "normal" standard
Behavior is age-dependent	What's concerning at 10 is normal at 2
Context matters	Stress, life events affect behavior
Cultural variation	Expectations differ across cultures
Stigma exists	Fear of labeling your child
Information overload	Conflicting advice online

The Good News

- Most children go through difficult phases and emerge fine- Early intervention, when needed, significantly improves outcomes- Seeking assessment doesn't mean there's definitely a problem- Professional guidance can help even if no diagnosis is made

Normal Developmental Behaviors by Age

Toddlers (1-3 Years)

Normal behaviors:- Tantrums when frustrated- Saying "no" frequently- Difficulty sharing- Separation anxiety- Testing limits- Emotional intensity- Short attention span- Inconsistent moodWhy it's normal: Toddlers are developing autonomy and emotional regulation. They lack language skills to express feelings.

Preschoolers (3-5 Years)

Normal behaviors:- Imaginary friends- Fears (dark, monsters, etc.)- Magical thinking- Occasional lying (fantasy vs. reality)- Testing rules- Strong preferences- Sometimes aggressive when frustrated- Occasional regression under stressWhy it's normal: Preschoolers are developing imagination, understanding rules, and managing increasingly complex social situations.

School-Age Children (6-12 Years)

Normal behaviors:- Arguing about fairness- Wanting independence- Peer relationships becoming important- Occasional school refusal- Worry about performance- Mood fluctuations- Sibling conflicts- Testing boundariesWhy it's normal: School-age children are navigating social hierarchies, academic expectations, and developing self-concept.

Adolescents (13-18 Years)

Normal behaviors:- Moodiness and irritability- Desire for privacy- Challenging authority- Identity exploration- Risk-taking (some)- Intense peer focus- Sleep pattern changes- Push-pull with parentsWhy it's normal: Adolescents are undergoing massive brain changes, hormonal shifts, and identity development.

Warning Signs: When Normal Becomes Concerning

The Key Question: IMPACT

The difference between a "phase" and a "problem" often comes down to impact:

Ask yourself:- Is this significantly affecting their daily functioning?- Is this harming relationships at home, school, or with peers?- Is this causing the child significant distress?- Is this persisting much longer than expected?- Is this much more intense than typical for their age?- Are multiple areas of life affected?If yes to several → Consider professional assessment.

Red Flag Checklist

Emotional Warning Signs

Warning Sign	Description
Persistent sadness	Low mood most of the time for 2+ weeks
Excessive worry	Anxiety that interferes with daily activities
Emotional outbursts	Intensity/frequency beyond age-appropriate
Hopelessness	Expressing that things will never get better
Fearfulness	Fears that prevent normal activities
Irritability	Constant anger or annoyance
Flat affect	Lack of emotional expression
Mood swings	Dramatic shifts that affect functioning

Behavioral Warning Signs

Warning Sign	Description
Aggression	Frequently hurting others, animals, or destroying property
Withdrawal	Significant social isolation
Regression	Loss of previously mastered skills
Sleep changes	Significant increase or decrease in sleep
Appetite changes	Major changes in eating patterns
Self-harm	Cutting, burning, or other self-injury
Risky behavior	Dangerous activities beyond typical exploration
Substance use	Alcohol, drugs, or other substances

Academic/Cognitive Warning Signs

Warning Sign	Description
Sudden grade drop	Significant decline in school performance
Can't concentrate	Attention problems affecting learning
School refusal	Persistent avoidance of school
Learning difficulties	Not progressing despite effort
Frequent complaints	Always "sick" to avoid school
Cognitive changes	Memory problems, confusion

Social Warning Signs

Warning Sign	Description
No friends	Unable to make or keep friendships
Bullying	Perpetrating or being victimized
Social anxiety	Extreme fear of social situations
Isolation	Preferring to be alone all the time
Relationship conflicts	Constant fighting with everyone
Inappropriate boundaries	Not understanding social rules

Physical Warning Signs

Warning Sign	Description
Frequent physical complaints	Headaches, stomach aches without medical cause
Sleep disturbance	Nightmares, insomnia, sleeping too much
Eating issues	Restricting, bingeing, purging
Hygiene neglect	Suddenly not caring about self-care
Developmental delays	Not meeting physical milestones

Immediate Concerns (Seek Help Now)

🚨 Seek immediate help if your child:

- Talks about wanting to die or kill themselves- Has attempted self-harm or suicide- Hears or sees things others don't- Has severe disconnection from reality- Poses danger to self or others- Has experienced trauma (abuse, assault, accident)- Shows signs of psychosis- Has been exposed to violence

Emergency contacts:- Emergency: 999- Kaan Pete Roi: 01779-554391- National Mental Health Helpline: 16789

Digital Life and Behavioral Concerns

The Screen Time Connection

Research shows links between unsupervised digital use and behavioral concerns:

Screen-Related Issue	Potential Behavioral Impact
Excessive screen time	Attention problems, sleep disruption, reduced physical activity
Social media overuse	Anxiety, depression, body image issues
Violent content exposure	Increased aggression (in some children)
Cyberbullying	Depression, anxiety, school avoidance
Inappropriate content	Fear, confusion, premature sexualization
Online predators	Trauma, secrecy, behavioral changes
Gaming addiction	Withdrawal from life, aggression when gaming stopped

Warning Signs Related to Digital Use

- Becomes extremely agitated when devices are removed- Secretive about online activities- Sleep patterns disrupted by device use- Declining interest in offline activities- Online relationships replacing real-world ones- Personality changes after screen use- Declining academic performance linked to device time- Finding inappropriate content in their history

The Assessment Process: What to Expect

What Happens When You Seek Help

Step 1: Initial Consultation- Parent interview about concerns- Developmental history- Family history- School and social information- Current symptoms and behaviorsStep 2: Child Assessment- Age-appropriate interaction- Play-based assessment (younger children)- Conversation and tasks (older children)- Observation of behavior- May include standardized assessmentsStep 3: Collateral Information- Teacher reports (with consent)- School records if relevant- Other professional reports- Medical historyStep 4: Feedback Session- Results explained to parents- Diagnosis (if any) discussed- Recommendations provided- Questions answered- Next steps outlined

Possible Outcomes

Outcome	What It Means
No clinical concern	Behavior is within normal range; guidance provided
Adjustment issue	Responding to stress; may resolve with support
Clinical concern identified	Specific issue found; treatment recommended
Further assessment needed	More specialized evaluation required
Referral	Need for specialist (psychiatrist, developmental pediatrician, etc.)

Common Childhood Mental Health Conditions

Anxiety Disorders

Signs:- Excessive worry- Physical complaints (stomach aches, headaches)- Avoidance of situations- Sleep problems- Need for reassuranceIncludes: Generalized anxiety, separation anxiety, social anxiety, specific phobias, selective mutism

Depression

Signs:- Persistent sadness or irritability- Loss of interest in activities- Changes in sleep/appetite- Fatigue- Hopelessness- In children: irritability may be more prominent than sadness

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)

Signs:- Difficulty sustaining attention- Easily distracted- Doesn't seem to listen- Difficulty organizing- Fidgeting, restlessness- Impulsivity- Symptoms present before age 12

Autism Spectrum Disorder

Signs:- Social communication difficulties- Repetitive behaviors or interests- Sensory sensitivities- Difficulty with change- Present from early childhood

Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)

Signs:- Frequent temper outbursts- Argues with adults- Actively defies rules- Blames others- Easily annoyed- Angry and resentful- Beyond normal childhood defiance

Conduct Disorder

Signs:- Aggression toward people/animals- Property destruction- Deceitfulness or theft- Serious rule violations- More severe than ODD

Trauma-Related Disorders

Signs:- Re-experiencing trauma (nightmares, flashbacks)- Avoidance- Negative mood changes- Hypervigilance- Following traumatic experience

Finding Help: Child Mental Health Services in Dhaka

Where to Seek Assessment

Resource	Services
Child Development Centers	Government hospitals (Dhaka Shishu, others)
NIMH	National Institute of Mental Health
Private psychologists	Assessment and therapy
Psychiatrists	Medication if needed
Mindspace	Assessment, therapy, family support
School counselors	Initial guidance (if available)

What to Look For in a Provider

- Qualified: Appropriate credentials and training- Experience: Works regularly with children- Approach: Child-friendly, developmentally appropriate- Family involvement: Includes parents in process- Communication: Explains clearly, answers questions- Cultural sensitivity: Understands local context

For Parents: Supporting Your Child

If You're Worried

Trust your instincts — You know your child best

Keep notes — Document behaviors, triggers, patterns

Talk to teachers — Get their perspective

Don't wait too long — Earlier is better for intervention

Seek assessment — Professional opinion provides clarity

During Assessment

Be honest — Complete information helps accurate assessment

Don't minimize or exaggerate — Describe what you observe

Ask questions — Understand the process

Involve your child appropriately — They deserve to understand too

Be patient — Good assessment takes time

If Your Child Needs Help

Follow recommendations — Treatment works when followed

Be consistent — With strategies at home

Stay involved — Attend sessions, communicate with provider

Manage your own emotions — Your anxiety affects your child

Seek support for yourself — Parenting a struggling child is hard

If No Clinical Concern Is Found

Feel relieved — This is good news

Implement guidance — Use strategies provided

Monitor — Watch for changes

Return if needed — Assessment is a snapshot in time

Address other factors — School, family, social issues

A Note on Stigma

We understand that seeking mental health help for your child can feel scary or shameful in our culture. Please know:

- Seeking help is strength, not weakness- Assessment doesn't mean diagnosis — Many assessments show no clinical concern- Early help prevents bigger problems later- Your child's wellbeing is worth more than others' opinions- You are being a good parent by paying attention

Mindspace: Here for Families

At Mindspace, we provide:

For Children:

- Comprehensive assessments- Individual therapy- Play therapy (younger children)- Social skills support- School-related concerns

For Parents:

- Parent guidance and training- Understanding your child's needs- Behavior management strategies- Support for your own stress

For Families:

- Family therapy- Communication improvement- Navigating challenges together

Why Families Choose Mindspace:

- Child-friendly environment- Qualified professionals- Non-judgmental approach- Culturally sensitive care- Clear communication- Parent involvement

Self-Assessment Checklist for Parents

Use this as a starting point, not a diagnosis:

In the past 2-4 weeks, my child has:

Behavior	Rarely	Sometimes	Often	Always
Seemed sad or hopeless	○	○	○	○
Been extremely irritable or angry	○	○	○	○
Worried excessively	○	○	○	○
Had trouble sleeping	○	○	○	○
Had changes in appetite	○	○	○	○
Withdrawn from friends/family	○	○	○	○
Had trouble concentrating	○	○	○	○
Refused to go to school	○	○	○	○
Had physical complaints (no medical cause)	○	○	○	○
Shown aggressive behavior	○	○	○	○
Talked about death or self-harm	○	○	○	○
Regressed to younger behaviors	○	○	○	○

If you marked "often" or "always" for several items, consider seeking professional assessment.

Frequently Asked Questions

At what age can a child see a therapist?

Children of any age can benefit from mental health support. For very young children, therapy often involves parents and play-based approaches.

Will my child be labeled forever?

A diagnosis is a tool for getting help, not a permanent label. Many childhood issues resolve with proper support. Even lifelong conditions can be well-managed.

Can I talk to the therapist without my child knowing?

Yes, parents can consult privately, especially initially. As therapy progresses, child involvement is important with age-appropriate confidentiality.

How long does treatment take?

It varies widely depending on the issue. Some children improve in weeks, others need longer-term support. Your provider will discuss expectations.

What if I disagree with the assessment?

Ask questions, seek clarification, and if needed, get a second opinion. You should feel confident in your child's care.

If you're wondering whether your child needs help, that question itself is worth exploring. Mindspace is here to help you find answers.When in doubt, reach out. Your child's wellbeing is worth it.